Till the Day I Die (Where have I Been)

This is my first time writing anything in quiet some time. My absence has given me a lot of time to think. I look at all of you, Christ Centered Girls followers and now my friends. I see all your comments and likes. I see the position God has put me in, the gift he has given me. I have to be honest with you though, it isn’t easy. I went into this with a blind fold over my face and God telling me to jump into a new world I had never been in before. I have not gone to school for this, I have dyslexia and many other problems that prevent me from being able to write “well.” So as you can imagine the struggle has been REAL. With every magazine issue that came out all I could see were the mistakes. All I could see was FAIL.

This began to take a toll on myself and my relationship with my friends and family. I was ashamed of what God had given me and soon, I was ready to give up. I wanted to be selfish and have a life, I wanted to be 17 and not have to work so hard at this.

But then I looked at all of you. Every girl that messaged me and said how much I had helped them. Every tear that was shed while reading my articles. I saw all of it. I cried out to God asking “WHY??” Why did he want this for me?? Why did he give me a following that didn’t just look to Christ Centered Girls but also looked to me?? Why was I inspiring girls all over the world!? Why couldn’t he pick someone else to have this job?? I wish there was a part in this story that said I finally ended up figuring out why. But sadly there has still been no happy ending here.

The enemy had gotten into my head and my life. He had manipulated me, he had taken myself from me. I was no longer Kylie, the girl that would have given her life for Jesus. I was Kylie, the girl who wanted to do her own thing and make her own path. I let God down, but I also let myself down. I am still struggling, I am still fighting, and I will fight till the day I die. I will not let the enemy win, I will not let him take advantage of me. I will not let him break me. Because I am STRONG and he has no power over a child of God! Not unless I give it to him.
God tested me, and I passed. There will be many more tests in the future, but I can tell you right now that I will never give up on you guys, no matter how much pain I have to go through to continue. I am here for you and always will be. I will fight for you till the day I die.

Love you all,

6 thoughts on “Till the Day I Die (Where have I Been)

  1. I don’t really know you, except what I am reading…:) But my Son Garrison knows you 🙂 I must say that you are a true Treasure! I can see it..not only to God, but to others appointed in your sphere of influence given by The Lord Jesus! I too have struggled with the flesh, world, and the devil…God always has and does bring me through wiser and more dependent on Him 🙂 Where we are weak is only where He can be strong and Glorified… the reason Father God has chosen you in this season of ministry is that He has prepared you and only you to be able to touch the hearts and lives of those Divinely appointed to you 🙂 Onward and upward Dear Sister in the Lord! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Christ Centered Girls

      Hello Darcy! Yes I don’t know much about you either but through mutual friends of Garrison! haha you are his mother correct?:)

      I am so glad you commented on my site! Thank you for your kind words and wisdom:) It means a lot. I believe that God has given me this following and gift for a reason. I now see a little bit of his plan for my life unfolding and I am so excited to see what else God has planned! I write things that are real to my heart and my life. I want to share that with people and reach people on a new level. So I am glad you liked it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s